Dissappear!

Disappear from my heart,disappear from my feel.
I hated the world shamelessly,stop forcing me to kneel.
I had reasons to curse god.
You made the reasons seem so odd.
Every memory of you hurts me now,i'm dying but alive.
You taught me to live,so i'm here to survive.
Wondering why you taught me to love,to adore?
When i'd end up loving to hate myself and nothing more!
Disappear from my mind,stop injecting this painful guilt.
Feelings i said i had faded out of hands like dried silt.
And now that you're gon,i feel a lot for you.
Crazy as i am,buh i swear that i really do!
Don't know why i spoke right when there was no one to talk to.
But now i swear i really did and will always love you!
Disappear from my heart,stop hurting every beat.
Every beat's a fresh pain,each one's so discrete.
Why you ever taught me to love,when one day you had to go away.
Now i end up hating myself ever since that endless day!
And u won't be back but i'm here to stay.
I appreciate to be existing as you taught,but i barely exist without you anyway!

YoU........

I pledged to be better next time and maybe i would have been.
But the world didnt remain the same n it was too late to come clean.
Life seemed barbaric and i had to live.
Knew that i was the last person i could forgive.
Tears in my eyes and the guilt was endless.
But i tried to squeeze something out of the emptiness.
I knew you weren't there but i couldn't kill my belief.
I had to hope that u heard me,you were my reason to live.
But deep within i knew you heard nothin,you weren't even there!
And i was a wimp,couldn't suicide..jus kept on being killed by my fear..

The times moved fast and it got so easier to forget you.
My demons were back and i was proud of all they used to do.
I knew you weren't there and i just didnt care.
Jus pretence in my heart when i said i wish you were here..

Had sipped in a little spur of the moment..a moment that got me lost again.
But the world wasn't the same and it wished to have me slain.
Now i weep in the dark and try to introspect.
How could i've been worth you,you were bound to have slept!
Slept until forever..
God u won't come back..evEr!!